Samurai Cop (1989) Amir Shervan

Samurai Cop is sure to please all fans of B-cinema. There are many scenes in this gem that will have you doubled over with laughter. From the initial car chase, to the slow motion katana duel between Matt Hannon and Robert Z'Dar, this movie screams cheese. Its aborted plot revolves around the titular character, Joe Marshall, the "samurai" cop (played by Matt Hannon), who has been transferred from San Diego to Los Angeles in order to assist the LAPD in taking down the troublesome Katana gang. Marshall, so we are told, has trained with the masters in Japan, and so ostensibly has some greater insight into the inner-culture of the Katana. What his expertise is exactly is hard to say, however, because he sneeringly mumbles Japanese names as if they were utterly foreign to him. Indeed, the only thing Marshall does do effectively is hitting on every woman he meets in the most sleazy and tactless manner conceivable. With far more brawn than brain, it is pretty clear from the get-go that Marshall won't be thinking his way through this flick.

It is a film that defies all reason and good taste. Marshall inundates the movie with incredibly lame one-liners and quips, usually entailing sexual innuendo, that find there energy more so in the playful tousling of his hair than in emotion or conviction. Whenever Marshall speaks, he appears dumbfounded by what he just said, as if didn't quite understand himself. Suspending disbelief to envisage a beach bum/meathead as a samurai warrior is just too much to expect of human imagination. And the fact that he owns an ocean side residence in L.A., with outdoor pool, on a cop's salary, doesn't help matters much. The script is blatantly racist in both message and content, and is padded with several gratuitous sex scenes. Marshall's partner is the stereotypical black buffoon who is always backing up our hero (whether with firepower or by serving as the butt of his badly timed jokes) while remaining in the background; and all the female characters are either stupid, trashy, or both. Simply put, Samurai Cop's willingness to forgo all sense and sensitivity for the sake of reproducing brainless actioner fantasies ranks high on the list of B-movies.

Samurai Cop is edited in chop shop fashion; the director Amir Shervan rarely bothers to establish shots, jumping from place to place, moment to moment, without any regard whatsoever for something like "continuity." The action accomplishes the amazing feat of never once being engaging. Dialog is delivered listlessly, often coming off as disjointed, and even nonsensical. This is made manifest in a number of exchanges between characters, e.g. the police captain's wanton use of expletives (with anyone that speaks to him), Fujiyama's orders to his henchmen, and especially the speech Hannon gives to the Katana gang in a restaurant. The viewer also gets the distinct impression that there are only about fifteen sound bites recorded for this film that are looped over and over again. As for its score, it consists of a series of uninspired Casio-produced tunes repeated mercilessly that either color the film with cliché 80s sounds, or fissure a given scene with music that simply does not correspond with the actions of the characters. The general ineptitude of the film, however, results in highly enjoyable viewing experience for anyone who considers riffing on schlock to be a pastime.